In 1991 Marlyn Schwartz published this cutie entitled A Southern Belle Primer or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma. Naturally, I dashed out to the local bookstore and scarfed (you do know that term, don’t you?) up all of the available three copies in their inventory. Ms. Schwartz is a native of Mobile, Alabama which, of course, qualifies her in all things Southern Belle. I recently uncovered this little book as I was attempting to “spring clean” the attic, so I set about reading it on the spot. If you grew up as or have adopted yourself out as a Southern Belle, her words will speak ever so directly to you. It is just plain hilarious. You just have to get yourself a copy of your own or head out to your local library to check it out. I guarantee that it will bring back lots of memories of fellow Southern Sisters and will certainly make you laugh a lot.

One of the passages in the book addresses the “ten telltale signs that always give a belle away.” If you’re game, take the quiz and report your answers in the comments. I’ll be sure to post the answers in a few days, so ya’ll come back:) Get out your best Crane notepaper and your Schaeffer ink (the real stuff) pen and answer the following:

A real belle:

1. calls the refrigerator the ___.

2. even if she’s ninety, calls her father “___.”

3. would rather walk down Fifth Avenue naked than wear ___ shoes before Easter of after Labor Day.

4. refers to a handbag as a ___.

5. doesn’t have a couch, she has a ___.

6. drinks iced ___in the middle of a blizzard.

7. will march for women’s rights for twenty miles but would die rather than walk two feet with a lighted ___.

8. dyes her ___ to match her cocktail dress.

9. will always have ___ for her parties.

10. has a deviled ___ plate.

I’m sure you can think of other equally important “tests,” and I will welcome hearing about those from you.

A real belle also knows how to serve up a plate of fried green tomatoes. I had some just the other evening; they were so000 good. This version is a “fancified” one that I got from one of my Southern Living cookbooks. It is really different and really good. When those green tomatoes are saying “summertime” in your area, I hope you will give it a try. It’ll make you slap hug your momma!

Fried Green Tomato Stacks

3 tomatillos, husked

2 tablespoons bacon drippings (you need this for the flavor)

1 garlic clove, pressed

1 1/2 teaspoons salt, divided

1 teaspoon pepper, divided

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/4 cup thinly sliced fresh basil

1 1/2 cups self-rising yellow cornmeal

3 large green tomatoes, cut into 18 1/4-inch slices (wait for the real thing – they are just so much better)

1 cup buttermilk

peanut oil

1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened

1 4-ounce package goat cheese, softened

1/3 cup milk

1 teaspoon sugar

fresh basil leaves

Bring tomatillos and water to cover to a boil in a small saucepan; reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Drain and cool. Process tomatillos, bacon drippings, garlic, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, and paprika in a food processor or blender until smooth; stir in basil (do not process). Cover and chill until ready to serve.

Stir together cornmeal, 3/4 teaspoon salt and remaining 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Dip tomato slices in buttermilk; dredge in cornmeal mixture. Set aside on a wire rack while oil is heating.

Pour peanut oil to a depth of 1/2 inch into a skillet (cast iron, of course) and heat to 375 degrees. Fry tomato slices, in batches, in hot oil 1 –2 minutes on each side; drain on the wire rack over paper towels. Keep warm.

Combine cream cheese, goat cheese, milk, sugar and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Place one fried tomato slice on each of 6 salad plates; top each evenly with half of cream cheese mixture. Top each with one fried tomato slice and remaining cream cheese mixture. Top with remaining six fried tomato slices; drizzle with tomatillo dressing. Garnish each stack with a basil leaf.

6 servings.

For some really good information about all things tomato, check out the web site at Tomato Casual.