Well, not exactly.

Hubby and I married 45 years ago today.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember too much of the ceremony itself except that we were both starving by the time we reached our first night’s destination.  Late.  Very late.

The next day we began our journey to New Orleans, tired and still hungry.  By the time we arrived at the Roosevelt Hotel in New Orleans, we were still tired.  And hungry.  And it was still late.

By the next morning, we were definitely in need of some major nutrition.  Breakfast seemed like a good place to start.  Except that it was almost noon.  We were newlyweds after all.  Hubby convinced the kitchen to prepare something truly exceptional for our first breakfast as husband and wife, and that dish has always played a prominent part in our honeymoon story.

Unfortunately, this was a time of pre-digital cameras and the photo of that dish of Pancakes Oscar is long lost.  But, after some research, I was able to discover this newspaper article with the original Pancakes Oscar recipe.  Prior to becoming a part of the Waldorf-Astoria family, the Roosevelt Hotel was a Fairmont.  It has maintained much of its elegance today that it had almost a half-century ago.  (Gosh.  That’s a long time.)

We were young and truly naïve.  But isn’t that what we were supposed to be? Hubby and I have literally grown up together.  Our life together has not always been perfect, but that was never promised.  What was promised was to love one another in spite of our failures and shortcomings, to  rejoice in the successes and to support our becomings.

We’d all love to undo past disagreements, past hurts.  But we can’t.  What we can do, and on what we must focus, is the togetherness.  Marriage at best is tough, a growing together rather than a seeking of separation.

It is a celebration of all that is lovely and strong and a reconciliation when it is not.   It is having a faith and trust that is precious and treasured.What you must seek and pray for, I believe, is that you will know that God put you together for a purpose and determining that purpose is how you continue to be a couple.

I feel it is important that you tell your spouse “I love you” each and every day. Even several times a day is just fine.  And mean it.  But, in my mind and heart, I think it is just as important to say, “I need you.”  In doing so we admit to a certain vulnerability and incompleteness.  Without the other, we are not fully complete.  Just like those half hearts we are wore and shared in our youth.

The Apostle Paul spoke in Phillippians 2 of this completeness when he said of Timothy, “For I have no one else of of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare. (Ryrie)  He and Timothy shared that relationship dependency that we should strive for in our marriages, I believe.  It is a healthy, loving, trusting dependency that interweaves throughout all of the marital relationship.

Tell your mate each and every day just how much you need him or her.  And believe it.

And believe in your commitment to one another.  I have a quote posted on the fridge that has been there for years.  I think it’s good promise for young couples and old ones as well,

And you were expecting pancakes:)

Ephesians 5:25
“You are God’s special gift to me.”