I came across a newspaper article the other day written by family psychologist, John Rosemond.  It was actually a reprint of an article that was first written about ten years ago,  Apparently, he had received numerous requests from teachers to publish it again, and so he complied.

His advice, I believe, is right on the money.  This is my 28th year of teaching so I have some insight and “expertise” with this subject.

What he says, and I fully agree, is that the “best students” are not necessarily those who make the best grades.  Rather, the best students are those who come to school prepared to do their best, to accept and fulfill their assignments, and to pay attention to what is being taught.

I would be interested in what you have to say about his tips.  I am reprinting the article almost verbatim in order to make sure that I present it to you as he intended.

1.  Make it clear to your child that disobedience is not an option.  I love this quote:  “Good behavior begins at home, not at school, and not  even the best teacher can discipline a child who is not respectful of adult authority.”   Further, he says to make the rules of proper behavior clear to your child.  When the rules are broken enforce with a firm, even hand.  New research finds that a child’s level of self-control is positively associated with school achievement.

Growing up, I always knew that if I got in trouble at school, I would be in far more trouble at home.  My parents taught me to respect adults, especially my teachers, and I never thought it alright not to do so.  I remember only one time my dad going to a teacher about me.  Then it was not to question the grade I had been given but to see how he could help me at home.  My parents listened to me complain, I am sure.  But never, I repeat never, did they not support the teacher.

2.  Assign your child a fair share of day-to -day housework.    Teachers have told Rosemond that the best students are usually those who have daily chores at home.  He says that it makes sense that a child who comes to school already accustomed to accepting adult assignments will have fewer problems accepting assignments from teachers.  The more responsible a child is at home, the more responsibility he/she will demonstrate in school.  (Notice that he said a “fair share,” not to be confused with slave labor.)

I appreciate that Perfect Daughter and Perfect SIL are already giving my perfect grandchildren a certain number of responsibilities at home.  They pick up their toys.  They often set their table.  They think putting dishes in the dishwasher is fun!  Perfect Boy is four; Perfect Girl is two.

From what I have read about the Northwest Arkansas Duggar Family with their 18, soon to be 19, children, they instill this sense of task commitment early.  It’s obvious that each child has a responsibility within the family and is fully expected to carry that out.  (You can find out more about them at Discovery.com or TLC.)

3.  Limit electronic entertainment to nonschool days and even then allow no more than five total hours per week. Rosemond remarks that research shows that screen time of any sort decreases attention span.  Learning from a real-life, flesh-and-blood teacher requires being ready to answer questions, memorizing, conducting independent inquiry, transferring what you’ve learned to paper, listening to the teacher’s feedback concerning your work and correcting your mistakes.  As for television alone, a researcher once found that truly gifted children tended to watch  no more than 5 hours of television per week.  The national average is 25 hours per week per child.   IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BE AVERAGE, LET HIM WATCH A LOT OF TELEVISION.  (Read that again, please.)

Teaching is sometimes viewed as another form of entertainment.  My students probably think I’m mean because I don’t try to entertain them.  Sure, we will play a game on occasion IF it adds to the learning.  But sorry guys, we aren’t High School Musical – The Middle School Version.  We are about real life.  Note to Students: Your schoolwork is your job.  I would like for you to think that if you don’t do it, don’t participate, you won’t get paid. 

4.  Be interested in what and how your child is doing in school, but take care not to do his work for him.  THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTEREST AND INVOLVEMENT. (Read that again, please.)  The interested parent says to the child, in effect, “I am concerned about your education, but it is ultimately your responsibility.”  The involved parent says, “ Your education is my responsibility.”  Unfortunately, too many well-intentioned parents have unwittingly accepted or appropriated responsibility for their children’s school work.  The result of this parental benevolence is a child who has difficulty taking the proverbial bull by the horns.  New research supports this low-involvement parenting model.

One of the most frustrating things I deal with as a teacher is when a parent takes on too much responsibility for the child’s work.  For the most part, I can tell the difference in papers written by seventh graders and those written by their parents.  Yes, it is okay to assist.  Yes, it is okay to encourage.  Yes, it is okay to offer suggestions.  But no, it is not okay to do it for them.  But you already know that.

Oh, and if your child forgets his project and leaves it at home, it probably is okay to fetch it for him the first time.  After that, I think he should know that it won’t do any good to call.  Do him a favor, allow him to learn the  consequences for his lack of responsibility.

5.  If your child’s teacher reports a problem, give the teacher—not your child—the benefit of the doubt.  As a rule, teachers are more committed to determining the welfare of children than any other class of professional.  When a teacher says your child has a problem — academic or behavioral — it is with your child’s best interest in  mind.  Curb the tendency to become defensive and listen with an open mind and an open heart.  You may learn something that will help you become  a better parent.

Several years ago my teaching partner  at the time (Dian) and I began requesting of parents that they write a letter to us about their child.  We asked them to tell us in a “million words or less” what made their child special.  We didn’t want grades or test scores, but rather what would they have us know about their son or daughter that we might not otherwise discover.  I have to tell you that those letters are just wonderful.  Also, I must admit that I often began to view a student in a different light after I read what was written about him.  A big regret is that not every parent takes the time to write that letter.  What a loss.  Those who do, tell me that it is a privilege.  Often they will remark that it is the first time in a long time that they have really given time and thought to  how special their child really is.  (So, if you are one of those parents who hasn’t gotten around to writing that letter, I would still love to read yours.)

Okay.  Here’s your homework.  What tips would you add to Rosemond’s? What do you do as a parent to ensure that your child has the opportunity to be the best student and person he or she can be?

An idea for breakfast:

I think breakfast is probably an overlooked meal in our harried pace.  From a teacher’s standpoint, I know the value of a good breakfast for my students.  All too often I see them with large containers of soda, chips, cookies, and even the very large size of whatever their “flavor” coffee is.  The immediate effect of that is a sugar high that only lasts a short time.

Since Hubby is our breakfast cook, I try to have things either made up or on hand that are simple for him to prepare.   This is one of those great tasting, filling muffins that works great for that.  I freeze them after baking so they are readily available. 

HAM AND CHEESE MUFFINS

3 tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 1/2 cups all-purpose baking mix such as Bisquick
2 cups (8-ounces) shredded Swiss or Cheddar cheese, divided
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 large egg
1 cup finely chopped cooked ham
poppy seeds (optional)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Melt butter in a skillet over medium-high heat; add onion and saute until tender, 3-5 minutes.  Combine baking mix and half of cheese in a large bowl; make a well in center of mixture.  Whisk together milk, Dijon mustard and egg; add to cheese mixture, stirring just until moistened.  Stir in onion and ham.  Spoon into lightly greased muffin pans, filling two-thirds full.  Sprinkle with remaining 1 cup cheese and poppy seeds, if desired.

Bake at 425 degrees for 20 minutes or until golden.  Let stand 2 to 3 minutes before removing from pans.  (from Southern Living)

Here’s your second homework assignment: what quick, healthy and easy ideas can you share for those early school-day breakfasts?

I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.  Share your comments or, even better, link up your post on either of these subjects with Mister Linky below.

Reposted at mrsarnoldsenglishclass.blogspot.com.

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Foodie Friday hosted by Gollum

Check out her cute idea for Fall cookies:)